Lessons on the Type-A Life

Here's a little lesson about the life of a compulsive type-A individual (namely myself). I thought this might be cathartic for me to explain a little bit of the inner workings of my mind, and I figured it couldn't hurt to get the word out to you laid-back types about what it is like to be us!

Lesson 1: Life is like a hyperbola

No-I do not mean that we exaggerate too much (hyperbole), although this can be true in some cases. Instead, I am referring to the fact that the function (the hyperbola) is bound in by some limits: the asymptotes. I am currently a trigonometry and calculus tutor, so this example immediately jumped to mind. The principle of asymptotes is that the line of the function is drawn closer and closer to the asymptote (a straight line border), but it can never reach the asymptote. Its like dividing 1/2 by 2, the distance between the number and zero gets smaller and smaller (1/4, 1/8, 1/16, 1/32, 1/64, 1/128...), but it will never be zero. The goal will never be reached. That is the frustration of being a perfectionist! The goal is absolute. It is perfection. It is the asymptote. But we can only get closer and closer to the goal. We will never reach it. I think that is part of why I think I love God and look forward to heaven so much: both are PERFECT! There is nothing I want to change, nothing I can correct. Everything is as it should be, and because of that, I rejoice!

Lesson 2: We are not all the same!

I think so many people assume that every perfectionist is alike, but this is simply not true. We all have different ideas of perfection, and we have different areas that we deeply desire that perfection in! Even those of you who wouldn't normally be classified as "perfectionists" likely have some area that you desire at least near-perfection in! For my uber laid-back husband it is his music. For me, it might be a wider range of areas, but we all demonstrate some tendency toward wanting things to be perfect. As my dad likes to remind me, however, my idea of perfection is just my idea! It is not the ultimate rule on how things should be. That really helps me to let Mikey off the hook when he doesn't use his mind-reading powers to know exactly how I want things to be done. It is my idea of perfection that drives my actions, but it doesn't need to drive the actions of others. And these ideas of perfection that we Type-A's cannot ignore in our own lives drive us towards different paths: for me, academics and medicine. But there are so many perfectionists out there who channel their energies toward other areas, other accomplishments, other dreams.

Thanks to those of you who read this and gave up a little time. I hope I didn't waste it. I really hope it helped you to understand (and maybe identify a bit more with) those of us individuals who seem a bit out of touch, a bit too demanding. I apologize if that's ever been me to you. The true struggle of a perfectionist is to let go of control in those ares of desired "perfection" and to offer grace! That has been my aim lately. Grace for myself. Grace for my family. Grace for my freinds. Grace for people I don't know. GRACE. It truly is saving...my sanity (and maybe yours) :)