forgiven. forgiver?

I have been reading through Acts, and today, I was in chapters 6 and 7, listening to the story of Stephen, commonly known as the first Christian martyr.  I was amazed by his knowledge of the scriptures, by his words to those who were coming against him, and mostly, by his love. The thing that astounded me most was the very end of his tale.  As he was being dragged out of the city and brutally stoned by the angry religious leaders he had challenged, his cry was this:

Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!

Lord, don't charge them with this sin!

Sounds eerily similar to Jesus cry during his own sufferings and death at the cross...pleading that the sins of those who are attacking him (attacking his beliefs, his identity, his faith, his words, and his body) be forgiven.  That their deeds not be counted against them.

I always think of God as righteous, as just...and often, I use His righteousness to justify my own hardness of heart.  I know God is displeased by sin, so I excuse my wallowing in deeds done against me, in wrongs I have suffered, when that is not what the righteousness of God calls for at all!  God desires for us to love; He is rich in mercy and love (Ephesians 2:4-5).  He does not want "even one of these little ones to perish" (Matthew 18:14).  God's heart is that we all be saved...saved from sin, from our flesh, from this world.  He sent His Son so that we might not be charged with our sins.  And Jesus tells us that "if you forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven" (John 20:23).  God has granted us the power to forgive, to offer love and life.  How pitiful that we so often cling to "justice" instead of offering up the love and grace that have been so freely given to us!!  I long to be more like Jesus and Stephen, desiring forgiveness and redemption for those who may hurt or unnerve me...

My prayer this morning is that God would soften my heart to look more like His own.  That I would grow poor in pride and rich in mercy.  That God's love would flow in and through and out of me to this dry, parched land...and that I would have a heart to forgive as my God has forgiven me!